I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
