She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
