Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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