Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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