Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize