I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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