im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
