I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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