Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
