You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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