Don't you send me to vm
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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