ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
