Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
