Pregnant stripper...not hot.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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