Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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