I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
