Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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