I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
