Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
