but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
