I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
