Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
