am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
