My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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