At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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