It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
