every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
