my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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