don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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