I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
