Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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