Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
