This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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