No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
