so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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