i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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