Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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