pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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