how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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