i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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