you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you made out with another girl for some wings
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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