if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
