I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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