We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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