Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
