My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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