Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
thus making me awesome and them whores
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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