i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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