She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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