laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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