and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Terrible idea I love it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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