3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
