People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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