My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
