Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There was a lot of him and a little penis
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm getting married
To pizza
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
