apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
