Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
