lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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