Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
