Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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