Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
