that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
