Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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