i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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