I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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