well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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