i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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