Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
