I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
