How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize