I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
