Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You smell like stripper and shame
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
