I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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