My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
