The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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